It’s funny how things come back to you. Snatches of song, a ghost of a scent, slips of memories that you’ve forgotten that you ever made. Little snapshots of life that make up who we are, buried beneath the care of everyday worry. It’s these little things that get woven into the fabric of who we are that are so easily forgotten.
Tonight, I unexpectedly had one of these threads come back to me. It was just a little memory of a song that I never even learned the name of, but when it came on my roommate’s Pandora, I recognized it immediately. That song was like a window to someone that I used to be.
I was just a little girl, still trying to figure out how to grow up, still trying to find who I was supposed to be. But my big brother. He was amazing: sports star, athlete, smart, handsome, a leader, involved in Fellowship of Christian Athletes, liked by everyone who knew him. In short, everything that a big brother should be. I adored him. I adored both my brothers (still do if I’m honest) but I hadn’t quite figured out how to deal with the fact that they were almost adults now and I couldn’t quite catch up. One night, I heard the strumming of a guitar coming from my brother’s room, and I couldn’t sleep. It was kind of annoying me so I slipped out of my bedroom and down the hall to my brother’s room. Instead of being annoyed, we just sat there on his floor. I listened to him play and he sang the song for me, even trying to show me how to place my fingers on the strings so that I could play just like him. Finally, I went back to my room and back to bed. I think that I fell asleep to the sound of him playing that same riff.
Today, I heard that song and I finally have a name to put to the memory: Such Great Heights. Just a little love song, just a simple guitar part, but I will always remember my sweet big brothers when I hear that song. It’s funny now, sitting up at night and learning the same guitar notes that he tried to teach me then. I thought that my brothers were so mature and so independent then. But tonight, I wonder if my brother was up playing his guitar that night because he was feeling some of the same stresses and pressures that I do. Still, despite that, he stopped and took time for his little sister. It was such a little moment, but it meant the world to me then and it still does today. Just a little snapshot. Sometimes, I tell my closest friends that I miss the person that I used to be. I miss my life then. But tonight, I’m just thankful that God gives us glimpses back to remind us of how well we are loved and how that love doesn’t change or snap, no matter how much life changes or how far away we may be from those who know us best.
...I have no idea 